Young Bertie saw his parents only moments most days, leaving him without the affections afforded most children. He was deprived of adequate food and made to wear painful braces around the clock to correct his bow-leggedness. His was a royal existence.

          A prince was he, a prince of much suffering and few words. Developing stomach problems and a stutter, he became the butt of his siblings’ jokes. The King believed the teasing would cure Bertie’s stutter, and so encouraged it. Of course, it only made it worse.

         Bertie, known to the world as Prince Albert, grew up to be King George VI. He had no expectation of being King, assuming the throne in 1936 after his older brother, Edward, renounced it in order to marry the love of his life, the twice-divorced American, Wallis Simpson. 

        The King’s Speech is the story of how King George (Colin Firth), overcoming fears born in childhood, finds his voice with the help of a self-taught, Australian speech therapist, Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush).  It was mere thoughts that caused his throat to seize up, and mere thoughts that allowed his words to flow again.  

        While not the King’s first speech therapist, nor the one who asks him to fill his mouth with marbles, Logue employs methods considered unorthodox. A reader of Shakespeare and teacher of drama, Logue had switched careers when called upon to help the shell-shocked, tongue-tied World War I vets returning home. 

          Logue knew the vets’ problems were not physical, and therefore required more than mere mechanics.  So he took a psychological approach, one intended to have them believing in their own voices and the right to be heard. Using the same techniques with the King, it meant getting personal and understanding what experiences led to the stammering. For, Logue says, no baby is born stammering.

         Refusing to make “palace calls” and to address his new client as “His Majesty,” Logue sets out to become the King’s friend and establish a relationship of equality. Anything less, Logue believes, would not allow the level of sharing needed to discover and overcome the source of the problem.

         So despite the King’s protests, Logue calls him “Bertie.”  Logue begins by asking Bertie about childhood memories, which is once again met with royal protests. He then asks, “Do you know any jokes?” Bertie cleverly replies, “Timing is not my strong suit.” That was as warm as it got that first day.

          Sensing a growing distance in this new relationship, Logue goes to using some of the latest technology, a system that records directly to a vinyl.  For the recording, he asks Bertie to read some passages from a book while classical music is blasted into his ears.  

         After reading a few lines, Bertie gets frustrated, takes off the headphones and says he doesn’t believe Logue’s methods work for him.  Upon departure, Logue gives Bertie the record, no charge, as a memento.

It isn’t until weeks later that Bertie hears the recording of his voice reading without a hint of stuttering. With music, Logue had drowned out Bertie’s doubtful thoughts and their impact.

 Bertie returns to work with Logue. Another breakup occurs, much later, when Logue pushes Bertie about the possibility and his ability to be king. Logue’s attempt to convince him he doesn’t need to be “governed by fear” is met by nothing less than terror camouflaged as royal entitlement and indignation.

After taking the throne, Bertie returns to Logue once again. The men exchange apologies and get on with their work. Logue, indeed, becomes Bertie’s friend. The King relaxes and as a matter of fact shares childhood fears and hurt.

From the time of coaching Bertie through his coronation and then his first big speech to the world, the one declaring Britain at war, Logue is ever present when the King addresses the public.  Logue surrounds Bertie with a cozy, pleasant environment during his radio addresses, and instructs Bertie to address only him. Fear is kept at bay, and Bertie is able to speak.

We know of these two unlikely friends and their courage because of another young stutterer, David Seidler, who wrote the screenplay for The King’s Speech.   British born, but evacuated to America, the young Seidler listened to the King’s wartime speeches. When learning  he shared more than British birth with the King, the young man was given hope by the King’s “curing himself.”

In researching Logue, Seidler contacted Mark Logue, a grandson.  As it turns out, Logue had his grandfather’s diaries documenting his work with the King.  But before Logue would share them, he told Seidler he needed to get permission from the palace.

Permission was granted with one stipulation. The Queen did not want the screenplay released while she was alive.  She said the memories were too painful. So decades later, Seidler shares the story.

It’s a story that makes us wonder why public speaking is the No. 1 fear in the world. What universal experience causes most of us to steer clear of addressing groups of unfamiliar people? Could it be that we were taught not to talk to strangers? Perhaps fear of rejection and ridicule are imbedded in our minds from times we observed or experienced such unpleasant situations.

Our subconscious thoughts come forth as if a record continuously skipping. When those thoughts work against us, we have only one choice: to drown them out like Logue did for Bertie.  Overriding negative and doubtful thoughts can only be done by inundating your mind with more positive and affirming ones.

Listen to the conversation in your head. Silence the fear by focusing on your strengths, accomplishments and desired possibilities. It’s how you shift your belief away from the “can’ts” and onto the “cans.”

          We are, as the age old premise goes, what we think.   So what do you think?

          Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOs and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

‘Tis the holiday season, the season known to make or break more businesses than any other. The tradition of gift-giving is known to have cash registers ringing up as much as 40 percent of a retailer’s revenues and 80 percent of their profit.

With so much riding on these few weeks, it’s not surprising that the commercialism of Christmas drives some organizations to lose faith, supersede common sense and create policies that work against joyful experiences, and perhaps profits.

A Christmas aficionado, I can’t help but relate the Tryptophane Thursday and Black Friday retail practices to a movie classic based upon a customer experience on Christmas Eve in 1944. Writer Valentine Davies went to a busy department store to purchase a gift for his wife. Overwhelmed, he wondered what Santa would think of the hectic scene.

Davies went on to share what he imagined Santa’s reaction to be in the Oscar winning movie, “Miracle on 34th Street,” starring Maureen O’Hara, John Payne and Natalie Wood.

A miracle itself, the movie debuted in June of 1947, not only having received the necessary approval of the retail rivals, Macy’s and Gimbels, but portraying them as friendly competitors in the film. This summer Christmas film proved so popular it graced the big screen for six months, right through the holiday season.

The story starts off with Macy’s famous Thanksgiving Day Parade, where a man who calls himself Kris Kringle replaces a drunken Santa and rides atop the holiday float. To capture the true spirit of the parade on film, actor Edmund Gwenn took his place as Santa in the actual 1946 parade.

Well-received by the crowds, Santa is hired by Macy’s for the New York store on 34th Street. And Kris, a.k.a. Santa, brings the Christmas spirit to the store, its shoppers and its employees. Putting the happiness of children ahead of commercialism, Kris sends shoppers to other stores for bargains and products not found at Macy’s.

The grateful voices of the customers were heard loud and clear by the Macy’s management, which adopted Kris’s practice as a storewide policy. “Mr. Macy” said the store was going to be known as the helpful, friendly store with a heart, the store that puts public interest before profits.

Of course, as the story goes, great profits came with having a heart. It turned out to be quite the customer loyalty program. And even when Kris’ sanity was questioned in court, Macy’s cashed in on the spirit and belief of Christmas.

The latest version of this story, released in 1994, has a bit of a different twist that is perhaps more in tune with today’s retail competitive environment. The rival stores take on the fictional names of Cole’s and Shopper’s Express. Cole’s needs healthy holiday sales in order to overcome its recent financial woes and keep its doors open. Shopper’s Express is counting on its vulnerable competitor to fail, allowing the purchase of Cole’s for a bargain price and the end of its long-time competitor.

Friendly rivals they are not, as Shopper’s Express plots to damage the reputation of Cole’s charismatic Santa, and in turn kill store traffic and sales. Santa’s sanity is again put on trial, only to grow the support and belief of its employer, New Yorkers and the court.

The underlying business message still applies today. Putting the customer first pays dividends. True, many businesses just pay lip service to this belief, but there are some who are being just as bold as the movie’s department store.

Progressive, in fact, has adopted the exact same practice. The insurance company shares competitors’ rates with potential customers, even when they’re lower, and has done so for years. On the company’s web site you will find rates scrolling across the home page ongoing.

Sure Progressive loses a few customers to lower rates, but gains the trust and loyalty from many more through its transparency. It is the third largest insurer in the United States and has averaged a whopping 73 percent profit growth since 2001. And while that growth has slowed a bit as of recent, the company is not cutting back but rather instituting more customer-focused programs.

Another example, Publix supermarkets, reacted to increasing food prices by giving the customer a break. They cut prices on the essentials like milk and bread. They also staff their stores with knowledgeable employees who among other things make menu recommendations for customers planning special meals or events.

The popular Trader Joe’s honors the local customers and their shopping experience. The store foregoes stocking fees or rent from suppliers, allowing each outlet’s customers to decide with their purchases what stays or goes from shelves. Even individual requests are honored.

So having a heart is still paying off, as some businesses experience bottom-line miracles all year round.

Experience a bit of seasonal magic for yourself. Travel via video ( http://www.youtube.com/user/operaphila?feature=mhum ) to Macy’s in Philadelphia where customers, employees and local choir members fill the store’s many floors with music and Christmas spirit as they sing the Hallelujah Chorus.

Now what do you think, did sales increase that day?

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOs and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

A widow and penniless at 34, she had five small children to rear. She resorted to what she knew and supported her family through sewing and writing poetry. And while that at first may seem a path to a long, hard life for a woman in the 1800s, hers was one of rags to riches, riches in every essence of the word.

Facing life with a good amount of spunk, she penned her first novel, Northwood, just five years later. It was a huge success. That led to the position as the first editor of The Ladies Magazine. Just short of a decade later she moved to Godey’s Lady’s Book¸ where her editorial skills were credited with making it the largest publication in America, with a 150,000 subscribers by the 1850s.

She went on to author two dozen books and hundreds of poems including the nursery rhyme, Mary Had a Little Lamb. She continued to write until she was 89, just two years before her death.

She was more than a woman of words, as she was the first to advocate for equal education for girls, the first to start day nurseries for working women, and the first to push the idea of public playgrounds.

Her life and works were more than gifts of inspiration, for they changed aspects of life to this day. And yet, while another one of her greatest contributions is recognized every year at this time, hers is not a household name. She was also the “mother” of Thanksgiving.

Sarah Josepha Hale believed we had too few holidays, writing, “Thanksgiving like the Fourth of July should be considered a national festival and observed by all our people.” For four decades Hale wrote thousands of letters petitioning statesmen near and far to proclaim the holiday. In an 1859 editorial, she wrote, “If every state would join in Union Thanksgiving on the 24th of this month, would it not be a renewed pledge of love and loyalty to the Constitution of the United States?”

At last in 1863, Lincoln issued the now famous Thanksgiving Proclamation. And while the spotty history of this day started in the 1700s, and was switched to a week earlier by Roosevelt in 1939 only to be restored to the fourth Thursday and declared a national holiday by Congress in 1941, it’s a day we celebrate because of the persevering Sarah Hale.

She saw a deep need for a holiday, a day that would redirect perspectives, provide healing and strengthen the bonds of community. It would provide a spiritual dimension for dealing with the realities of the civil war, a therapy steeped in goodness and celebration.

“There is a deep moral influence in these periodical seasons of rejoicing, in which whole communities participate. They bring out… the best sympathies in our natures,” she wrote.

Hale’s beliefs were founded on intuition, but today studies show her insights on the benefits of a day for giving thanks to be so true. Psychologists Robert Emmons of the University of California-Davis and Michael McCullough of the University of Miami have shown that regular feelings of gratefulness can actually improve our emotional and physical well-being.

Emmons and McCullough’s ongoing Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness found that people who keep weekly gratitude journals have a better outlook on life, exercise more, experience fewer physical ailments, and make more progress on important personal goals.

Emmons, author of Gratitude, writes that gratitude is a deeper, more complex phenomenon, one that plays a critical role in happiness. It can measurably change people’s lives, he emphasizes.

“Practicing gratitude helps people extract the most out of life,” Emmons said, adding, “People can also experience an overall shift to a more benevolent view of the world. I think it’s kind of a spiritual shift for some people because it makes them more aware of life as a gift.”

When we reflect on a time when we were truly grateful, there’s a realization that the feelings, the thoughts and the energy that we experience are all encompassing. It allows no room for negativity. Fear, grief, envy, greed and sadness can’t penetrate our being. Gratitude elevates us above it all.

And so during this holiday season, count your blessings. Let this accounting take you to a new perspective and lift you up. Let it show you the truth in these words of wisdom:

“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.” The Hausa of Nigeria

As Sarah Hale experienced decades ago, and actor, comedian and economist Ben Stein today attests:

“I cannot tell you anything that, in a few minutes, will tell you how to be rich. But I can tell you how to feel rich, which is far better, let me tell you first hand, than being rich. Be grateful… It’s the only totally reliable get-rich, quick scheme.”
Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOs and their teams develop the attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

The Chilean miners continue to be celebrated for their amazing act of survival. Earlier this month Edison Pena ran the New York marathon, finishing in just under six hours. A satisfying feat for anyone, but more so for a man who knew months of darkness. Without knowing it he was training for this race during the depths of the rescue challenge.

He had lost hope for a while, for the initial 17 days, in fact, when he said he was merely waiting to die. With a connection to the outside world came a new perspective. Life seemed a possibility again and so he began to run 6 miles a day through the dark tunnels. He said it set him free¸ allowed him to forget he was trapped under tons of rock. He had moved from surviving to thriving.

Many a blog talk about leadership lessons learned from the Chilean miners who emerged full of life after a harrowing 69 days spent under ground, unsure whether they would see the light of day again. None of the commentaries, however, tagged each and every one of the 33 men as leaders in their own right.

Just as each miner could have contributed to a disastrous outcome, so did each of them share in the survival of one another. The decisions to participate in rations, work routine and the buddy system were individual ones. No doubt the path to those decisions was as different as each of the miners, and most likely was not without struggle.

Struggle is putting it lightly. Many, like Pena, thought death was on its way. “The 33,” as they signed that first note to the world, have a pact to not discuss what happened in the first 17 days. No one needs to know the details of their weak moments, nor the battles between them. They overcame, that’s the point.

Trust and respect are inherent in their pact. They went into that mine as individuals and emerged a high-powered team, a mighty collective of individuals acting as one. They had bonded under the worst of conditions.

Miner Daniel Herrera confirmed as much. “Some of the miners only got to know each other after being trapped,” he said, adding, “Their bonds will last forever.”

Emerging as a team wasn’t accomplished by joining hands and singing “Kumbaya.” As with all high-powered teams, they did their share of storming, and probably to a much deeper and meaningful level. The value and uniqueness of the individuals were preserved, enabling a more powerful unity.

There is no greater team test than survival with extreme odds. And you can get no more efficient than extending a two-day food supply to 17 days. All were engaged, all had existence at stake. Whether contributing charismatic influence, nursing knowledge, technical skills or practical ideas, all the miners brought something to the task of survival.
All brought value to the team.

The job of a leader is simply to get the desired results. The job of a team is to leverage the assets of the individuals to fulfill a common purpose. The 33 miners did both. Leading themselves, their behavior was conducive to accomplishing survival. Leveraging strengths among the miners, they managed resources and workload for a successful rescue.

“When we found them after 17 days, we found them in good condition because they were able to organize themselves. They managed to not eat all the food, and in a peaceful way,” noted Auturo Fermandois, Chilean ambassador to the United States.

The miners taught us that impossibility isn’t what it seems. We give up so easily in everyday business. Perhaps it’s because we don’t have as much at stake. And maybe it’s because we don’t allow for everyone to be a leader in their own right and contribute to their optimal level.

Truly believing that everyone counts, that every single employee brings value will change your business approach. And it will change your outcomes. The Towers Watson global surveys put real, bottom line numbers to this difference. Enabling employee engagement to the same level that resulted in the miners’ survival, will result in brighter days for your business.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOS and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

Bigger than life, transcends time, that’s what comes to mind as I recall an evening spent with the words of some past presidents. The occasion was the 50th Anniversary dinner of the Calvin Coolidge Memorial Foundation at the Kennedy Library in Boston. It was a night that connected yesteryear, today and the future through timeless wisdom.

We meandered our way through the Kennedy exhibits on the way to dinner as if experiencing an opening act for the night. An established authority on leadership, John C. Bogle, founder and former CEO of The Vanguard Group, was the keynote speaker. He related the economic events and values of the past and present, offering an eternal solution put forth by Coolidge, our 30th president.

Bogle happened upon this solution as a young boy sailing with his uncle. On the transom of the boat were the words: Press On Regardless. That’s the abbreviated and to the point version. The full text of Coolidge’s spoken words was:

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unraveled genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On” has solved, and always will solve¸ the problems of the human race.

Silent Cal, to which he is often referred, was not a man of many words on the social scene, but as his speeches can attest, when the welfare of his country and countrymen were at issue, he spoke with vision, profundity and courage. And as history documents, his actions were born of the same qualities.

Courage seemed to be among the themes of the evening as we sat in a building honoring one president and pondered the words of the other. Both men found their way to the White House understanding that courage could make popularity more than a little precarious. And yet, if not for courage, they may have not crossed the threshold of the Oval Office as its occupant.

The two presidents spoke different words, but expressed the same sentiments, and an underlying theme was none other than “Press On.” To that end, Coolidge dismissed nay-sayers:

I have found it advisable not to give too much heed to what people say when I am trying to accomplish something of consequence. Invariably they proclaim it can’t be done. I deem that the very best time to make the effort.

And years later, Kennedy echoed Coolidge’s entrepreneurial spirit and unwillingness to be stopped by negativity, saying:

The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by the skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities. We need men who can dream of things that never were… and ask why not.

As the cliché goes, great minds think alike. And those thoughts continue to be powerful. Coolidge and Kennedy left a legacy of not only courage and leadership, but of inextinguishable inspiration.

As our speaker Bogle emphasized, these two men encouraged all to press on no matter the situation, in good times as well as bad. It takes just as much courage to venture beyond the comfortable, prosperous status quo as it does to deal with the problems of the day. Perhaps even more, as there is a good amount of inertia to overcome with a state of contentment.

At the core of their courage and their ability to press on was an impenetrable belief that their mission was to serve the common good. That is what helped them maneuver the pressures, the obstacles and the crises.

Robert Kennedy, in the foreword of his brother’s Pulitzer Prize winning book, Profiles of Courage, quoted Andrew Jackson as a way of explaining how one man could have such influence: “One man with courage makes a majority.”

The late senator went onto say, “That is the effect President Kennedy had on others.” Clearly Coolidge had the same effect.

So as we go about our days, let’s embrace the wisdom of these two great men, honor them and ourselves, and press on, regardless.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOs and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

I asked a group of professionals recently about how often they worried. It was no surprise when they indicated it was a regular part of life for them, as was stress. And when asked what great achievements have come from this ongoing commitment to such practices, there was silence.

There were no benefits, rather just the opposite was true. Not only did their worry consume precious time and energy, it literally was sucking some of the life right out of them. It was creating an ongoing state of stress.

As one would guess, these professionals acknowledged without hesitation that they could give themselves a headache if I requested them to do so. Unfortunately when I asked them if they could also rid themselves of a headache, the response was not as quick, confident nor positive.

We’ve all heard that stress is a killer, and so it is, though usually a slow and agonizing one. Biology basics make this clear, in addition to showing how the elimination of stress will not make for a vital life or one of greater well-being. For the absence of stress only gets us to point neutral on the scale of well-being.

Dr. Bruce Lipton, biologist and author of Biology of Belief, explains why. Our body performs two basic functions for survival: growth and protection. Growth involves the replacement of billions of cells everyday. Protection mode sounds the alarm to threats, like stress, activating chemical responses and redirecting energy.

The catch to these basic functions is that the body cannot perform them both simultaneously to an optimal level. That means something’s got to give. And that something is your growth, your maintenance. Threats to our system take priority, leaving us to slowly wear out.

Reality is that we live in a world where we allow stressful situations to be prevalent. Lipton describes this existence as one in the “Get Set” mode. “Our hyper-vigilant lifestyle keeps our body primed for action,” he says, much like that of a runner on the starting line.

When runners are in “Get Set” mode, their bodies release adrenaline that powers their muscles for the race ahead. While waiting for the “Go” signal, the body strains in anticipation. That strain lasts only seconds on the starting line, but if it were prolonged, Lipton explains, the runners would physically collapse within a minute despite their conditioning and toned muscles.

So why do we do this to ourselves? At the root of stress and worry is fear. Much of fear, if we are honest, is what my colleagues and I refer to as False Evidence Appearing Real. It resides in our reflexive subconscious mind, driving our behavior without reason. In other words, our subconscious doesn’t distinguish between a real threat and a false one.

I’ll admit it, I’m afraid of snakes. The level of stress they cause me is something you don’t want to experience. However, intellectually I know that not everyone is afraid of snakes. Some people have them as pets, play with them and wrap them around their bodies. There aren’t a lot of poisonous snakes in Vermont, so my fears are pretty much unfounded.

If you could take a few steps back, truly distance yourself from a worrisome situation, a similar realization might emerge. And at the very least, you, like our professionals mentioned previously, would have to admit conjuring up worry and stress contribute nothing to the desired outcome. Quite the contrary, it’s a waste of your very being, your lifetime.

It’s not an easy habit to break, for we are so good at allowing stress to take over our lives. Even if we did a total life transformation, creating whatever we believe to be the ideal existence and removing all the current sources of stress, we’d find new ones. It’s a mindset we’ve adopted.

The fact is, as so many of my blogs conclude, stress is as much a matter of choice as is our lifestyle. Earl Nightingale so succinctly captures the essence of this choice:

“Like a garden, so grows the mind. It will grow what ever you plant. We are what we think.”

No matter the situation, you can choose to think differently, and in so doing reduce stress. You know this intuitively. Take the next step and practice it.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOs and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

When we set out on a huge out-of-the-ordinary undertaking, or sometimes when we look back after completion, we almost gasp at what we perceive as the impossibility of it all. Most of us aren’t comfortable with seeing ourselves as great achievers.

At the forefront it may cause us to get stuck. We’ll fixate on the words: How can I get this done? I say “words” and not “question” because we take some time before we make any movement toward developing the answer.

On the backside we simply enter a state of awe. It’s done and we did it, but how we’re not sure. When we mentally retrace our actions, we adopt an attitude that we must have been crazy to have set out on such a venture. We simply can’t remember what gave us the chutzpah to charge ahead, and wonder if we could do it again.

This past week I had e-mails from a couple of former clients reveling in the accomplishment of such ventures. One finished the writing of a book that was due to the publisher by October 1st. The topic is one she speaks to around the world, that of creating a group consciousness for sustainability. It’s more than theory, pointing to projects near and far, some of which she spearheaded.

The other completed a hike of The Long Trail, not just for hiking sake, for she had already done so. This time she walked a more emotional journey, one in memory of her father and in recognition of the disease from which he suffered. She was literally taking steps to educate the world about Parkinson’s and raise funds to aid in discovering a cure.

Peaks for Parkinson’s, as she tagged her endeavor, touched many hearts, involved many lives and connected to many unaware minds. While some literally hit the trail with her for portions of the trek, others traveled along through her blog on Facebook.

Moving from the dream to reality takes a written goal and a plan with which to achieve it. Many people think they can do all their planning in their heads, and maybe they can. However, research has shown that written goals not only get done more often, they also get done more quickly. That allows for more dreams to be realized.

One of the studies that speaks to this began in the 50s. Graduates of the Ivy League schools were asked if they had a plan for life. How many would you guess did? It surprises most to learn it was only 4 percent. The researchers continued to track the graduates for 20 years to determine if having a plan really mattered.

The differences in the lives of the 4 percent compared to the 96 percent were astounding. And those differences pointed to what most of us link to success and happiness. You can quickly see what I’m talking about when you take a look at the cumulative difference between the two groups:

… The cumulative wealth of the 4 percent of graduates with a plan far exceeded the accumulated wealth of the other 96 percent.
… The 4 percent group had a lower divorce rate than the 96 percent group.
… And, the 4 percent group had a larger circle of friends and colleagues than did
the 96 percent group.

You can probably relate to these results by simply thinking about the times you have gone grocery shopping. Ever arrive home without something you needed? How about arriving home with some extra goodies that you hadn’t intended on buying? Doesn’t the degree of those two things happening decrease when you shop with a list? In other words, when you have a shopping plan you are less likely to forget an important item or overindulge in impulse items.

When it comes to achieving dreams, the plans cannot be devoid of the emotion from which the dream was born. Too often planning marches down the logical path as if we’re robots on a mission but without passion. Our emotion goes to the core of motivation or lack of it.

John Goddard got motivated at the early age of 15, thanks to his grandmother. After sitting on the porch listening to his grandmother’s regrets about all the things she didn’t do, he grabbed a pad a paper and listed his goals for life. He came up with 127 things he wanted to do.

It included the mountains he wanted to clime, the rivers he wanted to explore, riding an elephant and a camel, extracting venom from a snake, learning to play Clare de Lune on the piano, learning several languages, reading the classics, the Bible and the Encyclopedia Britannica, as well as being a doctor, missionary and father.

He had accomplished most of them by his mid-40s. And as if that is not impressive enough, you need to know that was only his first list.

Life can be more fulfilling by being intentional and committing plans to paper. You might say it increases the amount of living you do, as opposed to existing. A
little planning goes a long way in stopping your dreams and life from passing you by.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOs and their teams develop the attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

Ever feel out of control because you just won’t let go of any control? For you, perhaps, the circumstances of feeling overwhelmed and overextended are beyond your control. You recognize control freaks, but don’t believe one’s looking back at you in the mirror every morning.

Just for giggles, then, how would you answer these questions:

Will it take less time to just do things yourself?

If you answered “No” to all the questions, you should move on to other fun activities. No need to read further. If you had just one “Yes” you might like to explore a bit more.

Those are the types of questions asked by Cheryl Cran, author of The Control Freak Revolution, as she helps others acknowledge how such behavior can block a higher level of success.

If you listen you can hear a control freak a mile away, or perhaps in the next office. They say things about what they need to do. Here’s some I’ve heard: I need to stay visible to customers because others don’t care as much as I do. I need to be available to answer employee questions so they can get their work done. I need to keep a close watch so they don’t screw up… or screw off. I need to do it myself because they just don’t get it.

These “needs” can stem from a lot issues, but a frequent one is lack of trust. It is no different whether considering the context of work, community group or family. And it’s not something we usually can hide very well. Therefore, it can sabotage any attempts we do make to share the load or delegate.

Think about any time that you were assigned something by another, knowing they didn’t believe in you or your abilities. How did you feel? Doubtful? Stressed? Inadequate? How did you behave? Tentative? Lacking focus? Maybe you even procrastinated a bit?

We can conjure up enough doubts on our own without having the boss, parent or community partner adding to them. If you want to catch your breath, create time and space for other things, or just stop for while, you are going to have to learn to trust. That means letting go, turning over some control to others.

It’s natural to want to maintain control of everything. It’s just not realistic, productive or fun… nerve-wracking most likely, but not incredibly rewarding. And besides, sometimes your better way is really about preference, not quality or efficiency.

I bet you can count on less than one finger how many highly successful people claim to have achieved their accomplishments solo. You have to admit even those who perform individually, like athletes and musicians, have coaches, trainers and other support folks.

It’s not that you can’t achieve a certain degree of success on your own, but at some point you are blocked from going further. Even with the best tools, you can only fit so much in the given 24 hours of a day. That means without help you are limited.

Cran would advise taking it a small step at a time. Hand just a couple of things off. As a business owner, she had to get over this trust hurdle herself. She hired an assistant and was easily converted after experiencing how much more she could do. Not only was she able to do more, she did to a higher level of quality.

So, once again, it’s up to you to remove the limits, share the load and move on to greater success and satisfaction. Just dip your toe in, so to speak, and let yourself drift to a more sane place.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm who helps CEOs and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success.

Just as a general attitude of competitiveness in our personal lives tends to get us caught up in matters that aren’t important to us, so is the case in business.
One-up-manship takes the focus off of uniqueness and innovation, and submerges it into incremental changes in cost and quality with very little payback.

This describes what authors W. Chan Kim and Renee Mauborgne call the Red Ocean. It’s competing in the existing marketplace, trying to exploit the same demand as everyone else in the industry. And in so doing, it forces a value-cost tradeoff, as well as a choice between differentiation and low cost.

In other words, it’s bloody awful with little reward. The tendency to over deliver without much pay back just grows in proportion to the level of competition.

In their book, Blue Ocean Strategy, Chan and Mauborgne share formulas for finding a Blue Ocean, where competition is irrelevant. It doesn’t exist. It’s a new market space, where new demand is created and captured.

A basic premise of this strategic approach is what our authors term “Value Innovation,” where value and innovation are given equal emphasis. The result is increased value at a lower cost. Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, it’s been done by many.

In the Red Ocean approach, there are two very different outcomes, with which I fear you may be all too familiar. Those that emphasize value tend to achieve only incremental increases. And those companies that put more energy into innovation often overshoot what buyers are willing to accept in product and price.

It will be more believable and easier to understand if we look at some companies that have successfully applied this approach. So let’s start with the wine industry.

An intensely competitive industry, it clocks in at $20 billion. There has been consolidation of wineries, over the top marketing, and domination of shelf space by the big players. At the same time there’s been the usual downward pressure on prices. So in a nutshell, competition is fierce while demand remains flat.

The U.S. has the third largest aggregate consumption of wine worldwide, with California wines capturing two-thirds of the domestic market. They go head to head with the imports, which are increasingly targeting the U.S. market.

Enough said, the wine industry is swimming in a bloody Red Ocean. What company in a sane, profit-minded state would dive into such a business? With a splash, enters Yellow Tail into the industry, but not the Red Ocean.

In just two years, Yellow Tail emerged as the fastest growing brand in the histories of both Australian and U.S. wine industries. It is now the No. 1 red selling wine in the U.S., and its average annual sales exceed 4.5 million cases.

And they did it simply by exploring an alternative industry and applying the lessons learned. In particular, they checked out the beer industry for they wanted to create a wine that was easy to drink, not requiring special knowledge or occasion.

Out the window went the ecological distinctions, aging qualities and above-the-line marketing. At the same time they decreased the wine complexity, the variety and vineyard prestige. Their bottles are simple, with the fun and adventurous kangaroo atop a bright yellow or orange background. No where on the bottle will you find anything about the blend, texture, flavors or finish.

Another success story involves acknowledging an existing external trend, but instead of succumbing to it, participating in shaping it over time. This is the story about iTunes.

In the late ’90s, Apple observed the flood of illegal music downloads. By 2003, more than 2 billion files were being shared each month. And while the music industry worked to stop it, downloads continued to grow. The trend toward digital music was clear, being underscored by the popularity of MP3s and iPods.

So in ’03, iTunes was launched. In the first year, 700,000 songs were offered and 70 million were sold. They offered a legal alternative with better sound quality, easy and intuitive search capability and flexible a la carte song downloads, all at a lower than traditional cost.

These two examples start to give you an idea how to create a Blue Ocean. There are additional ways, including looking across strategic groups within an industry as Curves did in catering to women. Another option is to peer across complimentary products and services, which led Dyson to eliminate the need for the vacuum cleaner bag. Viagra changed their market orientation from a functional medical solution, to an emotional lifestyle choice. And Bloomberg redefined the industry buyer group by catering to the traders, instead of the IT managers.

All of these exploratory streams led to innovation and increased profits for the businesses, and greater value at a lower cost for the customer. The differences were significant for everyone.

This of course it just the tip of the iceberg. There is much more to the implementation of Blue Ocean Strategy that makes the book worth the read.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOs and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

The concept of ego is tossed around quite a bit these days and deserves a bit of exploration. Many current day philosophers and authors present ego as a bad element, being something that interferes with goodness.

These modern day thinkers therefore conclude that the ideal state is one defined by the absence of ego. Ego is often related to self-centeredness and selfishness, both of which also have negative connotations. These states of being are not one in the same and should not be confused.

In order to have a shared exploration, let’s look at how and why one’s ego develops. To gain a good understanding, it will be helpful to return to the day our birth, for that is the beginning of our development in this earthly existence. It will serve us well to reacquaint ourselves with the early years of our journey.

I have previously referenced what happens from day one, the moment we emerge from the womb. We come into this world as clean, little slates, so to speak. Our existence is one without choice about what we see, hear, smell, touch or taste. Without a sophisticated way to communicate, our lives are controlled by our caretakers. In most cases, our parents assume this role.

The extent of our capacity is to respond or react to that which we are exposed. And those reactions are greeted with approval, discouragement, or in some cases, are completely ignored.

It’s important to remember that as we grow in those first years of life, behavioral scientists have calculated that 80 percent of what we experience is negative. There are a lot of “nos,” “don’ts” and “don’ts” with consequences.

We repeatedly hear statements that discourage too much curiosity, exploration and ventures beyond easily monitored and safe surroundings as determined by our parents.

Think about having your thoughts, ideas and sense of fun met with constant road blocks. It continues to happen in adulthood, both among family and friends, as well as at work. New ideas and new paths are most often met with skepticism and comments about all the things that could go wrong.

A natural reaction to such nay saying would be defensiveness. If you believe in your idea or plan, it would seem automatic to make a case for its soundness. Enter in ego, the believer of Self.

Ego begins a transformation into a defensive mechanism to overcome all the negativity we are inundated with in our everyday existence. It begins to serve as a protector of Self. And considering the amount of negativity, it is easy to see how the ego can become overdeveloped.

In the repeated act of countering negativity, an environment of competition and score-keeping is grown. There is an overemphasis and necessity for right vs. wrong, and an either/or perspective. A spirit of one-upmanship manifests, creating a circular pattern, or ongoing domino effect of disapproval and discouragement sparking a defensive posture.

It’s a rather uninviting and miserable scenario. Thus our philosophers make their case for throwing out ego all together without discerning at what level ego is bad. This in turn instills guilt, contributes to the world of negativity, and in essence, becomes part of developing the ego to an extreme.

Perhaps we can easily acknowledge and agree that an overextended ego is not good. That, however, does not translate into the extinction of ego being the pathway to universal nirvana. Swinging the pendulum from one extreme to the next does not get us to an ideal state, but rather a new version of extension, which in this case is an under extension.

In all things, balance is the ideal state. Life is about balance. When everything about our existence is in a state of equilibrium, we are at peace, happy and productive. That includes our ego. Balancing our individual well-being and existence with that of others makes way for a healthy ego. There is no need for proving rightness.

Behavior resulting from an attempt to rid oneself of ego often appears as martyrdom, self-sacrifice, a holier-than-thou savior or just the opposite, no self-esteem. At the root of all of these behaviors is little or no self-worth. One no longer values or loves Self.

Equalizing your ego makes you just as important, not more or less, as everyone else. Everyone is of equal value. There is appreciation for one and all, as the connectivity and viral impact between all is clearly seen.

This allows one to take in others’ differing, even negative, perspectives, extract what value they offer and then move on. It’s movement forward not in spite of, but despite others’ thoughts. It allows one to be true to oneself.

Let me end with some words of wisdom from others. They just might help you put your ego in perspective.

“The minute you begin to do what you really want to do, it’s really a different kind of life.” – Buckminster Fuller

“It is up to you to illuminate the world.” – Phillippe Venier

“We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worst that has been done to us. – Edward Lewis

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps executives and their teams develop habits and attitudes for ongoing success and happiness.