The concept of ego is tossed around quite a bit these days and deserves a bit of exploration. Many current day philosophers and authors present ego as a bad element, being something that interferes with goodness.

These modern day thinkers therefore conclude that the ideal state is one defined by the absence of ego. Ego is often related to self-centeredness and selfishness, both of which also have negative connotations. These states of being are not one in the same and should not be confused.

In order to have a shared exploration, let’s look at how and why one’s ego develops. To gain a good understanding, it will be helpful to return to the day our birth, for that is the beginning of our development in this earthly existence. It will serve us well to reacquaint ourselves with the early years of our journey.

I have previously referenced what happens from day one, the moment we emerge from the womb. We come into this world as clean, little slates, so to speak. Our existence is one without choice about what we see, hear, smell, touch or taste. Without a sophisticated way to communicate, our lives are controlled by our caretakers. In most cases, our parents assume this role.

The extent of our capacity is to respond or react to that which we are exposed. And those reactions are greeted with approval, discouragement, or in some cases, are completely ignored.

It’s important to remember that as we grow in those first years of life, behavioral scientists have calculated that 80 percent of what we experience is negative. There are a lot of “nos,” “don’ts” and “don’ts” with consequences.

We repeatedly hear statements that discourage too much curiosity, exploration and ventures beyond easily monitored and safe surroundings as determined by our parents.

Think about having your thoughts, ideas and sense of fun met with constant road blocks. It continues to happen in adulthood, both among family and friends, as well as at work. New ideas and new paths are most often met with skepticism and comments about all the things that could go wrong.

A natural reaction to such nay saying would be defensiveness. If you believe in your idea or plan, it would seem automatic to make a case for its soundness. Enter in ego, the believer of Self.

Ego begins a transformation into a defensive mechanism to overcome all the negativity we are inundated with in our everyday existence. It begins to serve as a protector of Self. And considering the amount of negativity, it is easy to see how the ego can become overdeveloped.

In the repeated act of countering negativity, an environment of competition and score-keeping is grown. There is an overemphasis and necessity for right vs. wrong, and an either/or perspective. A spirit of one-upmanship manifests, creating a circular pattern, or ongoing domino effect of disapproval and discouragement sparking a defensive posture.

It’s a rather uninviting and miserable scenario. Thus our philosophers make their case for throwing out ego all together without discerning at what level ego is bad. This in turn instills guilt, contributes to the world of negativity, and in essence, becomes part of developing the ego to an extreme.

Perhaps we can easily acknowledge and agree that an overextended ego is not good. That, however, does not translate into the extinction of ego being the pathway to universal nirvana. Swinging the pendulum from one extreme to the next does not get us to an ideal state, but rather a new version of extension, which in this case is an under extension.

In all things, balance is the ideal state. Life is about balance. When everything about our existence is in a state of equilibrium, we are at peace, happy and productive. That includes our ego. It is the balancing of our individual well-being and existence with that of others. There is no need for proving rightness,

Behavior resulting from an attempt to rid oneself of ego often appears as martyrdom, self-sacrifice, a holier-than-thou savior or just the opposite, no self-esteem. At the root of all of these behaviors is little or no self-worth. One no longer values or loves Self.

Equalizing your ego makes you just as important, not more or less, as everyone else. Everyone is of equal value. There is appreciation for one and all, as the connectivity and viral impact between all is clearly seen.

This allows one to take in others’ differing, even negative, perspectives, extract what value they offer and then move on. It’s movement forward not in spite of, but despite others’ thoughts. It allows one to be true to oneself.

Let me end with some words of wisdom from others. They just might help you put your ego in perspective.

“The minute you begin to do what you really want to do, it’s really a different kind of life.” – Buckminster Fuller

“It is up to you to illuminate the world.” – Phillippe Venier

“We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worst that has been done to us. – Edward Lewis

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps executives and their teams develop habits and attitudes for ongoing success and happiness.

I’ve been on vacation, seeking a different level of balance and some veg time. I read a couple of mysteries, explored some of Canada’s Eastern Townships, and then lessened the activity to increase the quiet and still time.

Filling up days with places and events is often considered a great vacation. And great it is if not for beginning and ending with exhaustion. Its restorative score could be low, as most often vacations are expected to provide a break from schedules and their pressures as experienced in daily routines. A change in place, without pace, doesn’t always leave the residual effect anticipated with a vacation.

And while a change in pace, and not place, may serve up most of the benefits sought, vacations, we should note, are personal, and preferences as such will vary. The key is balance, something we all need and seem to believe is more achievable while on vacation.

Balance can be as elusive as the universal sought after happiness. And there’s a reason: they are intertwined with our state of mind. So while a change in pace or place seem appropriate for creating balance, neither provide a guarantee for a great vacation.

When I think of vacation I’m reminded of the carefree, imaginative and fun-filled days of childhood summers. Playing was the balance I needed then, and now. From creating our Indian village to spending hours throughout the day and evening at the local pool, to climbing a rock face of one of the bluffs overlooking the Mississippi, I was free to explore, create and experience. Our play was simply accepted, with few boundaries. And the appropriate level of silliness was always balanced with equal seriousness.

Self-expression flowed, and laughter came easy and often as we were loving life. With our laughter, we were releasing plenty of those healthy endorphins, which by the way are 10 times more powerful than the pain-relieving drug morphine. And no doubt we were increasing our little hearts’ rate, as in addition to the physical activity, our endless laughter gave it a boost. FYI, just a few minutes of laughter can double your heart rate, according to Dr. William Fry, Jr.

I’ve mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: As children we laughed on average 400 times a day; by age 35 we’ve reduced that to 15. So creating a more healthy balance truly does require a bit more play and laughter, in both the mental and physical sense.

For me, there’s nothing more fun than wandering and pondering. Wandering to see and experience new things, like dark chocolate enrobed blueberries we purchased at the Saint-Benoit-du-Lac Abbey. A burst of fresh berry flavor surprised us, because it was truly fresh and truly a burst.

As for pondering, time is given to those things that just don’t make their way into my brainscape during the normal course of a week. Topic matters not because vacation offers a chance to twirl anything and everything around and peer at them from different perspectives. My mental escapades are free to involve matters of the farfetched and otherwise inconceivable.

Play, mental and physical, has been recognized as a key ingredient of well being and happiness for centuries. Aristotle and Plato spoke of such beliefs. On through history, these beliefs have gained merit through the studies of the brain pertaining to the development and education of children, problem solving, creativity, relationships at home and work, as well as team performances.

According to one study, Schaeffer 1993, play is as important to human happiness and well-being as love and work. By nature we are born to play. It’s a source of energy and excitement, stimulating our bodies and brains. At the same time it provides for calmness, relaxation and improved sleep. Vacations that incorporate play are downright therapeutic.

It has been said that you can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. I suspect the same is true in exploration of our selves. I’ve not happened upon too many down sides to play, other than the occasional skinned knee.

So with a hop and a skip, unleash yourself. Get in the spirit, stay in the spirit, be the spirit needed to jump into a fun-filled vacation. Giggle and laugh as if you’ve never grown up. Let vacation be like skinny dipping, where without hesitation you leap in. No clothes, no second thoughts are necessary as you understand life is not a dress rehearsal. Allow yourself to recapture the carefree feelings and well-being of childhood.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps executives and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

Our patriotic fervor is most widely celebrated on Independence Day, as evidenced by the parades, speeches, picnics, music and fireworks. These illuminating events are celebrated as a nation, as the land of the free safeguard’s each and every person’s independence, as they themselves so define it.

The original text, tucked in the memories of most, reads:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident,
That all men are created equal,
That they are endowed by the Creator of certain undeniable rights,
That among them are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.”

Since the initial battle against the British monarchy, we have, with love of country, fought the visible foes of individual freedom. Many, however, fail to conquer the silent enemy.

Freedom speaks to the values and aspirations that are unique to each of us. At the heart of this undeniable right is the liberation of the spirit and soul of self. That’s an internal battle that can only be won by oneself.

We hold dear the freedom to choose, and yet we so often forfeit it, going along with external pressures, popular trends and thoughtless autopilot. I’ve known those who went through with a wedding for fear of what others would think if they canceled it; those who took a job they didn’t want so as not to disappoint someone who helped them get an interview; those who pursued careers to win approval from parents; and those who went along with unethical or illegal actions in order to stay employed.

There are many, many more examples. You can easily come up with some of your own. We could be judgmental, but if we’re honest we’ve all been there at one time or another. And so when someone steps forth and challenges a block to their individual rights, we observe with interest. And in the case of victory, we are collectively uplifted and inspired.

The challenges are ongoing, as is the case with the women of Swaziland who just this year one the right to have land, bonds and other property registered in their names. Interracial marriages were not legally sanctioned until 1967, and in 1994 a woman had to appeal for the right to hang an anti-war sign in her bedroom window. One just need check a list of ACLU victories to get an idea of the broad range of rights that at one time didn’t exist. And most came to be because one person, one individual felt hindered in their ability to live and be as they chose.

There is nothing like the energy and elation that comes from a personal win, especially one that escapes the trappings of ideas and opinions indoctrinated by one’s family, culture, society or workplace. Moving beyond persisting patterns of perception, a sense of obligation, a need for others’ approval, we find every moment is filled with an opportunity for personal choice and well-being.

Our forefathers intended liberty to go beyond the physical shackles, to those of the heart, mind and soul. I believe they understood that would lead to a harmony with self, and in turn would extend into the world. With harmony come greater levels of joy, health and prosperity.

In any field, those who are most memorable pursued life in their own way, often moving against some trend or popular belief. Or as Robert Frost expressed, they “took the road less traveled.”

Free to be how ever you choose isn’t necessarily about being different, rather it is simply about being authentically you. Take heart and yourself seriously, even if others don’t. Don’t worry about convincing, proving or showing others what is right for you. Just smile and be you. It’s your undeniable right.

And while these rights may not extend to rats, there’s a cute little guy of movie fame that couldn’t help but be himself. Remy, the lead in Ratatouille, leaves the French countryside to travel to Paris in hopes of becoming a chef. And despite his family’s doubts and the rat-hating humans, he becomes a culinary wonder.

Of course it’s just a story, not real. The real stuff happens when you choose that it should. And there are many that have chosen so, and their stories are real. You can start with some of our forefathers, and work yourself forward in time, until you, too, are included.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps executives and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success.

Intuitively it makes sense that transparency with employees allows for greater engagement and more lucrative financial outcomes. Leaders who are transparent evoke trust and a higher level of loyalty.

That newspaper turnaround that I mentioned a few weeks back was accomplished by opening the books and sharing financial results on a monthly basis. It empowered employees to participate in developing new and better processes and products.

I didn’t really think about transparency as putting the employee first, but that’s exactly what it does. And when you take care of the employee, they in turn feel compelled to take care of the customer.

In the latest Inc. magazine, Matt Blumberg, CEO and chairman of the New York company Return Path, talks about transparency and how he has ranked the shareholder behind the customer, who comes after the employee.

Shortly after hiring a Vice President of People to formalize and preserve the company’s culture, Blumberg’s philosophy of transparency and employees first was put to the royal business test. He and his team had decided to sell off part of the company, and proceeded to struggle with what to tell the staff.

The top team was divided, debating about impact from competitors and clients, potential workplace anxiety and talent flight, as well as the trust factor. Blumberg resorted to calling his executive coach, who was able to help him figure out how to maintain alignment with the company’s values and culture. Employees heard it first hand from Blumberg.

In the end, a sale didn’t take place. That portion of the business was broken off into a separate entity, and all continue to prosper.

Prosper and transparency are heard in conjunction more and more. Case in point, the man who wrote the book, Employees First, Customers Second, heads up the fastest growing and most profitable global IT services company. Business Week lists it as one of the 20 most influential companies in the world.

CEO Vineet Nayar, flipped the org chart upside down and made management accountable to HCL Tech’s 57,000 employees five years ago. It’s not just lip service, either. Performance appraisals of all HCL senior managers are posted on the company’s intranet. You can’t get more transparent than that.

Nayar is all about embracing change. He says Gen Y will require high transparency in business. After all it is the generation that grew up in the Facebook community, where they share all.

His implementation strategy incorporates what has been on the business platform for sometime, at least in discussion. It includes creating urgency, sharing the current state so employees can see future possibilities, building trust through transparent communication, nurturing an entrepreneurial mindset, and decentralizing decision-making.

In addition, he transfers the ownership of change to employees. That pretty much gives them license to do some of the driving, or to take the lead so to speak.

Change is known as The New Normal at HCL. Employees are put front and center. You can see for yourself at Unstructure.org, where videos from the company’s conference can be seen.

The opening video is all about kids’ perspectives. And from their mouths, we can hear how change is, indeed, the new normal. Internet is listed among the planets, and as for marriage, the chapel will be left behind for a Facebook ceremony.

Why not follow Nayar’s lead and welcome some of this change inside the walls of our business? There have been enough success stories to show it works. It’s time to believe and get on with empowering employees.
Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps executives and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success.

I found myself somewhat immersed in the world of visual art this past week. From looking at my son’s latest creation, to watching a movie about Georgia O’Keeffe and having dinner with a friend who is celebrating his 50th year as an artist, I took a fresh look at the world and contemplated life.

The three styles of painting are distinctively identifiable with each artist. The canvasses speak to the essence of their creator, hinting at their values, as well as bits and pieces of their life’s journey. But most pronounced in the work are the artists’ passions, undeniable and, for the most part, unwavering.

While my son is just beginning, the stories of the other two reinforce this sense of passion, including a passion for the unique self. O’Keeffe had at one point early on given up on her art, noting that the tradition of what she had learned was not one with which she could distinguish herself. Then, while attending a teaching college, she met Arthur Dow, who believed the goal of art is the expression of the artist’s personal ideas and feelings.

O’Keeffe says Dow “…helped me find something of my own.” It was from within that O’Keeffe found the connection between herself and the land, transferring it to canvas for all to see. And from that point on the world was enriched with her shared intimacy of our landscapes.

In “finding her own,” came a strength and freedom to stay the course. She is quoted, “I get out my work and have a show for myself before I have it publicly. I make up my own mind about it – how good or bad or indifferent it is. After that the critics can write what they please. I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free.”

The same is true for my friend, Paul Gruhler, who finds that his modernist abstract works are not always enthusiastically welcomed. And yet, freely he continues, and in doing so his art reveals a strong voice, full of colorful subtleties and an undeniable integrity.

He does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. A January exhibition in New Hampshire proved to be a very confirming and lucrative one, as about a dozen of his paintings sold. His work is currently on exhibit at the governor’s office here in Vermont, and has been a constant in another state official’s office for some time.

Gruhler grew up in New York “in awe of the tall buildings and the orderly grid of streets and avenues.” Combined with an equal wondering reverence for the art of Sung and later Chinese dynasties, he creates both harmony and tension through a sophisticated use of the basics: color, line and form.

He creates with a respect for the individual in all of us. Thus, he doesn’t title his works because he wants “above all to leave them available to the experience and discovery of others.”

This passion, this relentless commitment to share the best of who they are, is a wonderful display of leadership. For at the core of great leadership is authenticity, which can only begin with self.

That’s not the only lesson here, though. Key to survival in the art and business worlds, alike, is something upon which many a strategic planning sessions have focused. That is, the unique value proposition.

If artists can take the same tools and palette of colors, and present the everyday in a way that is recognizably of them, a business likewise can present its products or services in a way that sets them a part. Like so many things in life, these distinctions come from taking a deep look within, as opposed to solely keeping a watchful eye on the outer world.

            Balancing business with having a fulfilling life, for most, coincides with the ever present goal for happiness. And while some may claim to be content, that is not the same as happy.

Success in business or career minus holistic fulfillment is what I call life failure.  I mention this because while I was trying a bit of balance myself, I happened upon some tips for making the life journey more joyful, and successful.

I took a break to read for awhile Saturday.  My husband was playing his guitar and singing one of my favorite songs, Sounds of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel. I paused to listen – People talking without speaking; People hearing without listening – and in so doing realized that it fit perfectly within the context of what I was reading.

            On the surface, no connections were evident.  I was perusing the 10^th anniversary edition of Oprah’s “O” magazine and also spent some time with a pamphlet entitled Teaching Children Compassionately by Marshall B. Rosenberg.  Then magically the synapses of my subconscious began connecting and the common themes emerged.           

Oprah’s magazine is filled with insights, inspirations and wisdom from people who had an impact for her in the last decade. Rosenberg’s work is about non-judgmental communication, and how it makes way for awe-inspiring learning and living.

            Their shared themes, eloquently stated by Rosenberg and powerfully demonstrated by Oprah, are: learning is best fueled by a reverence for life, all life; and continually be conscious of the beauty within yourself and others.

            This may seem a bit far afield and soft for some, but who can argue with Oprah’s success. So let’s explore these themes as they pertain to Oprah and her business empire. I’ll revisit Rosenberg’s work at a later time.

            The essence of these themes involves organic connection… with life, with self and with others. It is what Oprah banks on every month when almost 2 million women buy her magazine, 37 percent of whom also have observed the men in their lives leafing through it.  Isn’t that what we all want…   business and personal relationships that grow on what is true and real? 

            Oprah’s organic connections go beyond good marketing. They are personal, genuine and deep. She puts herself out there on the cover, big as life, month after month.  Always a glamour shot, she radiates all that is the good life and success. Inside she sheds the glitz and opens her heart and mind as if a best friend.

            The issue about her ongoing weight loss struggles attracted the most response from readers and the media.  She was so transparent, it was impossible to not relate to her. (Hopefully all have figured out that weight loss is often about an imbalance in life or other issues, and not just about diet and exercise.)  Oprah ventures to where we all live, ever exploring the path to what she calls “the best life.”

            She stands front and center as proof that success is not the be-all of life, but only a piece of the journey. Every month “O” magazine speaks to a reverence for life, ongoing learning and an appreciation of the beauty in all us.

In celebration of  “O’s” anniversary and life itself,  here’s a few tidbits shared by a couple of the magazine’s popular columnists.

Martha Beck shares that sometimes it useful to unlearn some lessons, such as:  Working hard leads to success; Success is the opposite of failure; Problems are bad; and, We should think rationally about our decisions.

          Wisdom from Dr. Oz included: Change is possible, but only if you believe it; We regret the actions we don’t take more than the ones we do; and It’s not about living longer, it’s about living better.

            There’s plenty of explanation and more tidbits to be found in the magazine.  If you are so inclined, check it out.  Either way, join the celebration by nurturing an organic relationship, at work or home.  And enjoy the difference.

            Refreshed and somewhat tan, I just returned from Jamaica where warmth, both in weather and smiles, prevail.  Not surprising, the lyrics of Bob Marley’s carefree song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” continue to play in my head.

            My mindset became an amusing juxtaposition as I picked up the New Yorker from the mail pile and began to read  Elizabeth Kolbert’s article, Everybody Have Fun; What can policymakers learn from happiness research?

            The simple answer to that question is “not much.”  The research, for the most part, scratched the surface and asked the same old questions.  Happiness, after all, is not a new phenomenon for this century. Philosophers, psychologists and people in general have long tried to universally define happiness.

            It’s not just a matter for public policy, as has made the news globally from Bhutan to Europe and the U.S., but also for business practices. Engaged employees, a.k.a. happy employees, are all the rage now that it’s been shown bottom lines are all the healthier because of them.

            The business world has made progress. It’s realizing that happiness in the work place goes beyond the pay check. Just as in society, money can’t buy happiness. It’s a tool that’s helpful, but more money does not equal more happiness.

            And that’s just what the research showed in Kolbert’s article. A 1978 study asked lottery winners, quadriplegics and a control group about their happiness before and after their life-changing events.  There were no real distinctions between the groups; money didn’t increase happiness and physical limitations didn’t eliminate it.

            Other data showed that despite increases in Americans’ income, house size and number of cars, levels of happiness have “remained virtually unchanged” for the past 50 years.  In addition, countries with lower per capita income levels often register higher average happiness levels.

            These are not new revelations.  And yet we, as a society, can’t seem to let go of falsehoods that have us believing more is better, and one’s net worth directly correlates with one’s level of happiness.

            It was in 1943 that Abraham Maslow presented the hierarchy of needs, detailing how one’s basic needs must be met before one can aspire to such things as self-esteem and self actualization.  Meeting basic needs does not translate into happiness any more than superseding them, however it allows one to move beyond survival and onto living.

            While policy holders and business leaders can and should create environments and conditions conducive to happiness, they cannot ensure it. Our Founding Fathers had it right when they included the pursuit of happiness among the fundamental rights.  Happiness is not something to be given, but pursued.  It’s personal, and it’s a choice.

            Not to be confused with pleasure and satisfaction, happiness is an active state of being, not fleeting feelings. It is unique to each person, with the best definition being self actualization.

            The legend about the ancient tribal leaders who struggled with where to hide the secret of happiness concurs.  Foregoing the highest mountains, the deepest ocean waters and the core of the earth, they chose to hide it in the heart of each individual.  They assumed it was the one spot where it would remain unfound.

            So let’s end the centuries-old debate, and encourage some personal expeditions into the heart of happiness.  That better work place and world will follow.          

            This month’s Entrepreneur magazine shares some interesting, and opposing, perspectives on engaging employees in behaviors that have positive outcomes for the business.  The cultural implications couldn’t be more disparate.

            In one article, a Midwestern credit union has banished Facebook and Twitter from the work place, and is about to forbid cell phones on the premises. Seems management’s repeated attempts to get employees to be more focused on the customer and their jobs have failed.

            It was noted that they want to trust their people to do the right thing.   But instead, have concluded “the only way we can let people know we’re serious, and really discipline hard-core offenders, is by instituting a uniform policy banning cell phones.”

            It’s not that I’m opposed to having principles by which everyone operates, but the message that is being sent by this company is just the opposite of what they say they want.  The reasoning behind the rules will breed distrust, and distance employees even more from the company.

            I have observed first hand that managing for the worst case scenario creates a culture that begins to feel like a prison.  James Autry, author of For Love and Profit, has spoken to this issue many times.  Creating policies in like manner of this credit union, is shirking management responsibilities and taking the easy way out.  Autry’s and my advice would be the same: If there are offenders, deal with them, one on one.  Do not treat everyone like an offender.

            A few pages further in the magazine we find an article that might be helpful to this credit union.  It’s titled: “Creating a culture of Excellence.”  Citing examples of what is done by 10 companies that are getting it right, Jennifer Wang says the prevailing theme is that leaders are visible and show they value each employee. And the result: an incredibly high level of trust.  

            It’s conceivable that the examples given in this one article will not be enough to convince the credit union or any company that is of like mind.  So let me recommend a quick read of The Dream Manager by Matthew Kelly. 

            It all begins with a janitorial service business that has high turnover, unhappy clients and a decreasing bottom line.  It seems to be a hopeless situation.  But there’s a happy ending, for both the company and the employees.

            The turnaround starts with some simple dialogue. The solutions came as a collaborative effort: Management asked, employees talked, management listened and together they made improvements.

            Going deeper, the management style transformed into one that, like the companies Wang lists, recognizes employees are whole people, with needs, hopes and dreams of their own.  When the work place incorporates avenues for employees to accomplish personal goals along with company goals, it becomes a magical place.

            It’s what we refer to today as engaged employees. And as Towers Watson attest, those companies with highly engaged employees out perform the others significantly.

            At the end of the day, you have to engage the hearts and minds, along with the feet and hands to have a winning work place team.

            In various leadership positions throughout my career, I’ve often thought if I could wave a magic wand I would want to give people confidence.  I had observed that confident people behaved differently. For the most part, they seemed less defensive. 

            Upon further observation, it became clear that confidence was not something that was always experienced holistically.  For example, I’ve coached some folks that are very confident in their abilities to do their job, but not so confident in the value of themselves as individuals. Therefore, defensiveness emerged.

            Then there are those who are so confident that their defensiveness is elevated to arrogance, and takes on the face of bullying, diminishing anyone who questions them.

            Carol S. Dweck addresses these behavior differences more eloquently in her book, mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Rather than speak of them in terms of confidence, she talks about their mindset and how that translates into behavioral styles.

            In examples of what most would consider successful people, she draws lines of distinction by detailing values and coinciding behaviors.  She would no more put John McEnroe in the same athletic ranks with Michael Jordan and Babe Ruth, than she would group Lee Iacocca and Steve Case with CEO greats Jack Welch and Lou Gerstner.

            And here’s why. McEnroe, Iacocca and Case share what Dweck terms a “fixed” mindset, whereas Jordan, Ruth, Welch and Gerstner share a “growth” mindset. The differences are as stark as being billions in the red as opposed to billions in the black.

            Giant egos, airs of superiority and constant parading of their greatness are characteristics of the fixed mindset group.  Abuse and judgment of the underlings, especially the most competent, is routine and required to uphold the self-created royal status of fixed-mindset leaders. Talent, not effort, is supreme.

            McEnroe blamed losses on many things, but never himself.  The responsibility didn’t lie with him, so neither did the fix.  He even blamed his temper tantrums on others for having allowed them.  Jordan and Ruth, in contrast, looked losses in the face and increased efforts to improve their games.        Likewise Iacocca and Case sat atop success with the sole focus of elevating their self-image. All the while, Chrysler and AOL Time Warner danced with disaster.  True to their fixed mindset, both CEOs lost their crowns but not their elitist attitudes.

            With a switch in mindsets, it was human potential, teamwork and growth that drove Welch and Gerstner. Like the spotlighted Undercover CEOs of the current TV program, they went to the ranks and thrived on good communication.

            Turf wars were banned, credit shared and mentoring replaced blame.  The “Royal I” was no where to be found, resulting in wins all around, including nothing less than stellar financial gains for GE and IBM.

            So you see, while confidence is a characteristic linked to leadership, it alone does not guarantee a leadership style that is respected and sustains success.  True leadership, after all, is only sustainable through the engagement and growth of self and others.  Dweck’s book does a great job substantiating this through a collection of detailed examples. 

While in New York this weekend, I was reminded of how frequently we are faced with decisions that speak to our authenticity. It was more than the patterns of styles and behaviors that emerged while people-watching. It was what I saw in formal exhibits and on stage that spotlighted our human struggles and triumphs of being true to ourselves.

  Authenticity is that desired state that we connect with success, leadership and happiness.  And while it is so desired, there are ongoing pressures to be otherwise. Fitting in, being accepted, avoiding ridicule, controversy and conflict keep many teetering on the edge, rocking between a unique self and the collective blend. Some just succumb, believing it is easier to mix with the majority.

            Leave the streets of NYC, step into a theater or art museum, and find a celebration of the authentic. For originality and individual victories draw us in, and connect at a gut level.

            The fancy footwork of Billy Elliott, the young boy growing up in a struggling mining town, won him the opportunity to pursue ballet, but not without enduring some soul-searching pirouettes of his family and community. It’s an all too common theme in life.

            At Lincoln Center, South Pacific’s Emile de Becque made decisions according to his priorities, leaving him unpopular at times.  His love, Nellie, resisted her true feelings for him, listening to what others thought and said, for she was already tagged “nutty” for being herself.  This play, full of many such struggles, shows them to be more of a daily occurrence than we might want to acknowledge.

            We find differences and creativity recognized and appreciated in exhibits at the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA). While his work is revered now, Claude Monet made choices that were not so easy at the time.  He snubbed artistic traditions to make way for playing with personal expressions. Creations throughout MoMA reveal similar sentiments, with artists eliminating the concept of convention to toy with just about everything.

            When it came to interpreting space, within and surrounding structures, Frank Lloyd Wright was another artist who didn’t believe in sacrificing personal style. He wove form, function and light into revolutionary architecture, as is the case with the Guggenheim Museum. In observance of the museum’s 50^th anniversary, the world has been Contemplating the Void, which Wright so boldly designed into the center of this “catalytic” building.

            Standing in the spiraling open space, one can begin to understand Wright’s dedication to his own sense of being and imagination.  There was no conforming, no imitation.  And yet, with just one step outdoors, existence becomes a monotone blur defined by peer pressure. Even in our pursuit of being different, too often we are the same.

            Unless, like young Billy Elliott, you feel sparks inside, like electricity, and totally free, you are not being true to you.