‘Tis the holiday season, the season known to make or break more businesses than any other. The tradition of gift-giving is known to have cash registers ringing up as much as 40 percent of a retailer’s revenues and 80 percent of their profit.

With so much riding on these few weeks, it’s not surprising that the commercialism of Christmas drives some organizations to lose faith, supersede common sense and create policies that work against joyful experiences, and perhaps profits.

A Christmas aficionado, I can’t help but relate the Tryptophane Thursday and Black Friday retail practices to a movie classic based upon a customer experience on Christmas Eve in 1944. Writer Valentine Davies went to a busy department store to purchase a gift for his wife. Overwhelmed, he wondered what Santa would think of the hectic scene.

Davies went on to share what he imagined Santa’s reaction to be in the Oscar winning movie, “Miracle on 34th Street,” starring Maureen O’Hara, John Payne and Natalie Wood.

A miracle itself, the movie debuted in June of 1947, not only having received the necessary approval of the retail rivals, Macy’s and Gimbels, but portraying them as friendly competitors in the film. This summer Christmas film proved so popular it graced the big screen for six months, right through the holiday season.

The story starts off with Macy’s famous Thanksgiving Day Parade, where a man who calls himself Kris Kringle replaces a drunken Santa and rides atop the holiday float. To capture the true spirit of the parade on film, actor Edmund Gwenn took his place as Santa in the actual 1946 parade.

Well-received by the crowds, Santa is hired by Macy’s for the New York store on 34th Street. And Kris, a.k.a. Santa, brings the Christmas spirit to the store, its shoppers and its employees. Putting the happiness of children ahead of commercialism, Kris sends shoppers to other stores for bargains and products not found at Macy’s.

The grateful voices of the customers were heard loud and clear by the Macy’s management, which adopted Kris’s practice as a storewide policy. “Mr. Macy” said the store was going to be known as the helpful, friendly store with a heart, the store that puts public interest before profits.

Of course, as the story goes, great profits came with having a heart. It turned out to be quite the customer loyalty program. And even when Kris’ sanity was questioned in court, Macy’s cashed in on the spirit and belief of Christmas.

The latest version of this story, released in 1994, has a bit of a different twist that is perhaps more in tune with today’s retail competitive environment. The rival stores take on the fictional names of Cole’s and Shopper’s Express. Cole’s needs healthy holiday sales in order to overcome its recent financial woes and keep its doors open. Shopper’s Express is counting on its vulnerable competitor to fail, allowing the purchase of Cole’s for a bargain price and the end of its long-time competitor.

Friendly rivals they are not, as Shopper’s Express plots to damage the reputation of Cole’s charismatic Santa, and in turn kill store traffic and sales. Santa’s sanity is again put on trial, only to grow the support and belief of its employer, New Yorkers and the court.

The underlying business message still applies today. Putting the customer first pays dividends. True, many businesses just pay lip service to this belief, but there are some who are being just as bold as the movie’s department store.

Progressive, in fact, has adopted the exact same practice. The insurance company shares competitors’ rates with potential customers, even when they’re lower, and has done so for years. On the company’s web site you will find rates scrolling across the home page ongoing.

Sure Progressive loses a few customers to lower rates, but gains the trust and loyalty from many more through its transparency. It is the third largest insurer in the United States and has averaged a whopping 73 percent profit growth since 2001. And while that growth has slowed a bit as of recent, the company is not cutting back but rather instituting more customer-focused programs.

Another example, Publix supermarkets, reacted to increasing food prices by giving the customer a break. They cut prices on the essentials like milk and bread. They also staff their stores with knowledgeable employees who among other things make menu recommendations for customers planning special meals or events.

The popular Trader Joe’s honors the local customers and their shopping experience. The store foregoes stocking fees or rent from suppliers, allowing each outlet’s customers to decide with their purchases what stays or goes from shelves. Even individual requests are honored.

So having a heart is still paying off, as some businesses experience bottom-line miracles all year round.

Experience a bit of seasonal magic for yourself. Travel via video ( http://www.youtube.com/user/operaphila?feature=mhum ) to Macy’s in Philadelphia where customers, employees and local choir members fill the store’s many floors with music and Christmas spirit as they sing the Hallelujah Chorus.

Now what do you think, did sales increase that day?

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOs and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

The Chilean miners continue to be celebrated for their amazing act of survival. Earlier this month Edison Pena ran the New York marathon, finishing in just under six hours. A satisfying feat for anyone, but more so for a man who knew months of darkness. Without knowing it he was training for this race during the depths of the rescue challenge.

He had lost hope for a while, for the initial 17 days, in fact, when he said he was merely waiting to die. With a connection to the outside world came a new perspective. Life seemed a possibility again and so he began to run 6 miles a day through the dark tunnels. He said it set him free¸ allowed him to forget he was trapped under tons of rock. He had moved from surviving to thriving.

Many a blog talk about leadership lessons learned from the Chilean miners who emerged full of life after a harrowing 69 days spent under ground, unsure whether they would see the light of day again. None of the commentaries, however, tagged each and every one of the 33 men as leaders in their own right.

Just as each miner could have contributed to a disastrous outcome, so did each of them share in the survival of one another. The decisions to participate in rations, work routine and the buddy system were individual ones. No doubt the path to those decisions was as different as each of the miners, and most likely was not without struggle.

Struggle is putting it lightly. Many, like Pena, thought death was on its way. “The 33,” as they signed that first note to the world, have a pact to not discuss what happened in the first 17 days. No one needs to know the details of their weak moments, nor the battles between them. They overcame, that’s the point.

Trust and respect are inherent in their pact. They went into that mine as individuals and emerged a high-powered team, a mighty collective of individuals acting as one. They had bonded under the worst of conditions.

Miner Daniel Herrera confirmed as much. “Some of the miners only got to know each other after being trapped,” he said, adding, “Their bonds will last forever.”

Emerging as a team wasn’t accomplished by joining hands and singing “Kumbaya.” As with all high-powered teams, they did their share of storming, and probably to a much deeper and meaningful level. The value and uniqueness of the individuals were preserved, enabling a more powerful unity.

There is no greater team test than survival with extreme odds. And you can get no more efficient than extending a two-day food supply to 17 days. All were engaged, all had existence at stake. Whether contributing charismatic influence, nursing knowledge, technical skills or practical ideas, all the miners brought something to the task of survival.
All brought value to the team.

The job of a leader is simply to get the desired results. The job of a team is to leverage the assets of the individuals to fulfill a common purpose. The 33 miners did both. Leading themselves, their behavior was conducive to accomplishing survival. Leveraging strengths among the miners, they managed resources and workload for a successful rescue.

“When we found them after 17 days, we found them in good condition because they were able to organize themselves. They managed to not eat all the food, and in a peaceful way,” noted Auturo Fermandois, Chilean ambassador to the United States.

The miners taught us that impossibility isn’t what it seems. We give up so easily in everyday business. Perhaps it’s because we don’t have as much at stake. And maybe it’s because we don’t allow for everyone to be a leader in their own right and contribute to their optimal level.

Truly believing that everyone counts, that every single employee brings value will change your business approach. And it will change your outcomes. The Towers Watson global surveys put real, bottom line numbers to this difference. Enabling employee engagement to the same level that resulted in the miners’ survival, will result in brighter days for your business.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOS and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

The concept of ego is tossed around quite a bit these days and deserves a bit of exploration. Many current day philosophers and authors present ego as a bad element, being something that interferes with goodness.

These modern day thinkers therefore conclude that the ideal state is one defined by the absence of ego. Ego is often related to self-centeredness and selfishness, both of which also have negative connotations. These states of being are not one in the same and should not be confused.

In order to have a shared exploration, let’s look at how and why one’s ego develops. To gain a good understanding, it will be helpful to return to the day our birth, for that is the beginning of our development in this earthly existence. It will serve us well to reacquaint ourselves with the early years of our journey.

I have previously referenced what happens from day one, the moment we emerge from the womb. We come into this world as clean, little slates, so to speak. Our existence is one without choice about what we see, hear, smell, touch or taste. Without a sophisticated way to communicate, our lives are controlled by our caretakers. In most cases, our parents assume this role.

The extent of our capacity is to respond or react to that which we are exposed. And those reactions are greeted with approval, discouragement, or in some cases, are completely ignored.

It’s important to remember that as we grow in those first years of life, behavioral scientists have calculated that 80 percent of what we experience is negative. There are a lot of “nos,” “don’ts” and “don’ts” with consequences.

We repeatedly hear statements that discourage too much curiosity, exploration and ventures beyond easily monitored and safe surroundings as determined by our parents.

Think about having your thoughts, ideas and sense of fun met with constant road blocks. It continues to happen in adulthood, both among family and friends, as well as at work. New ideas and new paths are most often met with skepticism and comments about all the things that could go wrong.

A natural reaction to such nay saying would be defensiveness. If you believe in your idea or plan, it would seem automatic to make a case for its soundness. Enter in ego, the believer of Self.

Ego begins a transformation into a defensive mechanism to overcome all the negativity we are inundated with in our everyday existence. It begins to serve as a protector of Self. And considering the amount of negativity, it is easy to see how the ego can become overdeveloped.

In the repeated act of countering negativity, an environment of competition and score-keeping is grown. There is an overemphasis and necessity for right vs. wrong, and an either/or perspective. A spirit of one-upmanship manifests, creating a circular pattern, or ongoing domino effect of disapproval and discouragement sparking a defensive posture.

It’s a rather uninviting and miserable scenario. Thus our philosophers make their case for throwing out ego all together without discerning at what level ego is bad. This in turn instills guilt, contributes to the world of negativity, and in essence, becomes part of developing the ego to an extreme.

Perhaps we can easily acknowledge and agree that an overextended ego is not good. That, however, does not translate into the extinction of ego being the pathway to universal nirvana. Swinging the pendulum from one extreme to the next does not get us to an ideal state, but rather a new version of extension, which in this case is an under extension.

In all things, balance is the ideal state. Life is about balance. When everything about our existence is in a state of equilibrium, we are at peace, happy and productive. That includes our ego. Balancing our individual well-being and existence with that of others makes way for a healthy ego. There is no need for proving rightness.

Behavior resulting from an attempt to rid oneself of ego often appears as martyrdom, self-sacrifice, a holier-than-thou savior or just the opposite, no self-esteem. At the root of all of these behaviors is little or no self-worth. One no longer values or loves Self.

Equalizing your ego makes you just as important, not more or less, as everyone else. Everyone is of equal value. There is appreciation for one and all, as the connectivity and viral impact between all is clearly seen.

This allows one to take in others’ differing, even negative, perspectives, extract what value they offer and then move on. It’s movement forward not in spite of, but despite others’ thoughts. It allows one to be true to oneself.

Let me end with some words of wisdom from others. They just might help you put your ego in perspective.

“The minute you begin to do what you really want to do, it’s really a different kind of life.” – Buckminster Fuller

“It is up to you to illuminate the world.” – Phillippe Venier

“We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worst that has been done to us. – Edward Lewis

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps executives and their teams develop habits and attitudes for ongoing success and happiness.

I’ve been on vacation, seeking a different level of balance and some veg time. I read a couple of mysteries, explored some of Canada’s Eastern Townships, and then lessened the activity to increase the quiet and still time.

Filling up days with places and events is often considered a great vacation. And great it is if not for beginning and ending with exhaustion. Its restorative score could be low, as most often vacations are expected to provide a break from schedules and their pressures as experienced in daily routines. A change in place, without pace, doesn’t always leave the residual effect anticipated with a vacation.

And while a change in pace, and not place, may serve up most of the benefits sought, vacations, we should note, are personal, and preferences as such will vary. The key is balance, something we all need and seem to believe is more achievable while on vacation.

Balance can be as elusive as the universal sought after happiness. And there’s a reason: they are intertwined with our state of mind. So while a change in pace or place seem appropriate for creating balance, neither provide a guarantee for a great vacation.

When I think of vacation I’m reminded of the carefree, imaginative and fun-filled days of childhood summers. Playing was the balance I needed then, and now. From creating our Indian village to spending hours throughout the day and evening at the local pool, to climbing a rock face of one of the bluffs overlooking the Mississippi, I was free to explore, create and experience. Our play was simply accepted, with few boundaries. And the appropriate level of silliness was always balanced with equal seriousness.

Self-expression flowed, and laughter came easy and often as we were loving life. With our laughter, we were releasing plenty of those healthy endorphins, which by the way are 10 times more powerful than the pain-relieving drug morphine. And no doubt we were increasing our little hearts’ rate, as in addition to the physical activity, our endless laughter gave it a boost. FYI, just a few minutes of laughter can double your heart rate, according to Dr. William Fry, Jr.

I’ve mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: As children we laughed on average 400 times a day; by age 35 we’ve reduced that to 15. So creating a more healthy balance truly does require a bit more play and laughter, in both the mental and physical sense.

For me, there’s nothing more fun than wandering and pondering. Wandering to see and experience new things, like dark chocolate enrobed blueberries we purchased at the Saint-Benoit-du-Lac Abbey. A burst of fresh berry flavor surprised us, because it was truly fresh and truly a burst.

As for pondering, time is given to those things that just don’t make their way into my brainscape during the normal course of a week. Topic matters not because vacation offers a chance to twirl anything and everything around and peer at them from different perspectives. My mental escapades are free to involve matters of the farfetched and otherwise inconceivable.

Play, mental and physical, has been recognized as a key ingredient of well being and happiness for centuries. Aristotle and Plato spoke of such beliefs. On through history, these beliefs have gained merit through the studies of the brain pertaining to the development and education of children, problem solving, creativity, relationships at home and work, as well as team performances.

According to one study, Schaeffer 1993, play is as important to human happiness and well-being as love and work. By nature we are born to play. It’s a source of energy and excitement, stimulating our bodies and brains. At the same time it provides for calmness, relaxation and improved sleep. Vacations that incorporate play are downright therapeutic.

It has been said that you can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. I suspect the same is true in exploration of our selves. I’ve not happened upon too many down sides to play, other than the occasional skinned knee.

So with a hop and a skip, unleash yourself. Get in the spirit, stay in the spirit, be the spirit needed to jump into a fun-filled vacation. Giggle and laugh as if you’ve never grown up. Let vacation be like skinny dipping, where without hesitation you leap in. No clothes, no second thoughts are necessary as you understand life is not a dress rehearsal. Allow yourself to recapture the carefree feelings and well-being of childhood.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps executives and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

Seems we never have enough time. Those who have all they desire are few and far between. The rest tend to eliminate the fun, settle for less, or burn the candle at both ends. None are great options. However, there is another way.

First, I must say I truly believe in and love a good night’s sleep. There’s nothing like waking in the morning totally relaxed, with your muscles feeling like half melted marshmallows, free of all tension. Your mind meanders back, peeking a bit at the world and then retreating. Slowly and comfortably, you unite with the new day.

Nonetheless, the night offers us another way to overcome some of our greatest obstacles of the day. Don’t jump to conclusions, you still get to sleep as much as ever. You see at night when the conscious mind shuts off, the subconscious stays on duty. In fact, it never takes time off. It is our autopilot, doing its work at all hours, everyday.

Still skeptical? Let me share some history and a bit of firsthand experience. We’re all familiar with the sewing machine, but perhaps not how it came to be in 1845. Its inventor, Elias Howe got stuck on how to make the needle work. In hand sewing, the needle is pointed at one end and has an “eye” at the other to carry the thread. That did not work on the machine, and neither did moving the “eye” to the middle of the needle.

Then one night, after puzzling all day on this, the right design came to him in a dream. It was an odd dream, one that had natives poking him with pointy spears that had holes near the point. And so he awoke with the answer that still works today.

Ever heard of the German scientist Friedrich August Kekule von Stradonitz? Yes, he’s another dreamer who contributed Structural Theory and the Benzene molecule to the world of organic chemistry. Here’s what happened in his words:

“… I was sitting writing on my textbook, but the work did not progress; my thoughts were elsewhere. I turned my chair to the fire and dozed. Again the atoms were gamboling before my eyes. …long rows sometimes more closely fitted together all twining and twisting in snake-like motion. But look! What was that? One of the snakes had seized hold of its own tail…”

These stories may seem farfetched and so long ago. So travel closer in time to today, for there are people who understand and make use of their subconscious during slumber. I am one of them. I remember, when in high school, working on an algebra problem all weekend long to no avail. What can I say, I loved math. Then, as with our inventor and scientist, the answer just came to me in my sleep. No amazing dreams, just the answer.

Later, when working as a Features Editor, we did a story on just this topic. And we discovered it doesn’t require waiting for nighttime shut eye. A TV repairman just took a nap any time he was stumped, and voila, he awoke with the solution.

So how does it work? Research at the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine, spearheaded by a leading expert on the positive benefits of napping, gives us a clue. Sara Mednick, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry at UC San Diego and the VA San Diego Healthcare System, reported that REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is rich in dreams, stimulates associative networks, allowing the brain to make new and useful associations between unrelated items.

“Fluid interpretation is a hallmark of a creative mind, from idle word play to the abstraction of shapes that led to the solving of neurochemical transmission or structure of the benzene ring,” wrote the research team in their findings. They go on to support the experience of our scientific dreamer. “These findings on the role of REM sleep in creative problem solving underscore the Nobel Laureate Friedrich A. Kekule’s recommendation: ‘Let us learn to dream.’”

The key was to prime the brain before sleep. In doing so, many have a hard time shutting off the conscious mind, which, in addition to being incapable of the same cognitive level as the subconscious, runs interference. REM sleep is the key, allowing the subconscious to do its magical connections without distraction. In a way, it’s a form of multi-tasking, a seemingly effortless one.

Most of us will still need to make the most of our days. And that, quite frankly, will take some conscious time management. But, as our friend of a couple of blogs ago, Thomas Edison, would say, “Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.”

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps executives and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success.

You can often hear the assumptions being made if you listen for them in a conversation. Sometimes it’s a comment that will give it away, other times it is the lack of one. Either way, assumptions tell about the people making them.

These conclusions, made in the absence of knowledge, might be made at the conscious level, but frequently are driven by some kind of subconscious belief and can involve being judgmental. This does not imply, however, that there is any ill intent.

When facilitating communication sessions on this topic, I often start off by tripping into the room. A little later, I’ll ask participants if they checked to see what I tripped on or just assumed that I was a klutz. Klutz it is.

We all make assumptions, but we may not always be aware of it, or why we do so. A great illustration of this is the last jury scene from “Twelve Angry Men,” a 1957 movie starring Henry Fonda.

By the last scene there are three guilty votes, down from 11 jurors believing a boy stabbed his father to death. It is 6:15 in the evening and some want to declare a hung jury. Tempers are all too evident. They decide to go through the evidence one more time.

The last holdout switches his vote after a photo of he and his son falls out of his wallet. He loses it, saying something about rotten kids. He, along with all the other jurors, now understands the bias that was driving his perspective.

You’ve probably run into such prejudices. I have. I’m not a car person, but there is one car that I’ve always liked, an Audi TT. I have one. It’s a 2001, silver with the classic lines that are lost on today’s models. It’s a fun car to drive and gets about 33 miles to the gallon. Oh, and I bought it used, as part of my recycling philosophy.

Friends or not, the typical assumption is that I am rich and this is an expensive car. Well, it was cheaper than the used Subaru Outback that I used to drive when I had kids to chauffer. And it was cheaper than most of the cars these assumers buy.

My husband works with some engineers who had a similar experience. They bought an old, inexpensive Jaguar. After losing too many jobs to assumptions that they would be too expensive or were making too much money, they got rid of it.

Now, I don’t think there is anything wrong with buying a new, expensive car. I don’t assume that people who do are greedy, uncaring or self-centered. But sadly, I’ve heard such assumptions.

Sometimes people just can’t help themselves. As was the case with one friend, who, after I quit my job commented, “You must of gotten one heck of a package.” I realized quitting such a job just wasn’t in his realm of possibility.

Another friend said I was able to quit because I had a husband to support me. I kindly told her it wasn’t the first time I had quit a high paying job. The first time I was a single mother with two children still at home.

Remember our subconscious often plays a part in assumptions, while we remain unaware. You can test this for yourself, if you’d like. I’d suggest you try Race Implicit Association Test or IAT at www.implicit.harvard.edu. It measures your subconscious attitudes toward blacks and whites.

Know that you probably have conscious attitudes that will differ from, contradict even, those that show up on the IAT test. Most do. Harvard’s Mahzarin Banaji says if you’ve lived in North America long, you’ve been inundated with images and information that link whites with good things, and will accordingly create a subconscious bias.

You know, you can’t go wrong with making one assumption. I’ll bet you know what it is.

            Balancing business with having a fulfilling life, for most, coincides with the ever present goal for happiness. And while some may claim to be content, that is not the same as happy.

Success in business or career minus holistic fulfillment is what I call life failure.  I mention this because while I was trying a bit of balance myself, I happened upon some tips for making the life journey more joyful, and successful.

I took a break to read for awhile Saturday.  My husband was playing his guitar and singing one of my favorite songs, Sounds of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel. I paused to listen – People talking without speaking; People hearing without listening – and in so doing realized that it fit perfectly within the context of what I was reading.

            On the surface, no connections were evident.  I was perusing the 10^th anniversary edition of Oprah’s “O” magazine and also spent some time with a pamphlet entitled Teaching Children Compassionately by Marshall B. Rosenberg.  Then magically the synapses of my subconscious began connecting and the common themes emerged.           

Oprah’s magazine is filled with insights, inspirations and wisdom from people who had an impact for her in the last decade. Rosenberg’s work is about non-judgmental communication, and how it makes way for awe-inspiring learning and living.

            Their shared themes, eloquently stated by Rosenberg and powerfully demonstrated by Oprah, are: learning is best fueled by a reverence for life, all life; and continually be conscious of the beauty within yourself and others.

            This may seem a bit far afield and soft for some, but who can argue with Oprah’s success. So let’s explore these themes as they pertain to Oprah and her business empire. I’ll revisit Rosenberg’s work at a later time.

            The essence of these themes involves organic connection… with life, with self and with others. It is what Oprah banks on every month when almost 2 million women buy her magazine, 37 percent of whom also have observed the men in their lives leafing through it.  Isn’t that what we all want…   business and personal relationships that grow on what is true and real? 

            Oprah’s organic connections go beyond good marketing. They are personal, genuine and deep. She puts herself out there on the cover, big as life, month after month.  Always a glamour shot, she radiates all that is the good life and success. Inside she sheds the glitz and opens her heart and mind as if a best friend.

            The issue about her ongoing weight loss struggles attracted the most response from readers and the media.  She was so transparent, it was impossible to not relate to her. (Hopefully all have figured out that weight loss is often about an imbalance in life or other issues, and not just about diet and exercise.)  Oprah ventures to where we all live, ever exploring the path to what she calls “the best life.”

            She stands front and center as proof that success is not the be-all of life, but only a piece of the journey. Every month “O” magazine speaks to a reverence for life, ongoing learning and an appreciation of the beauty in all us.

In celebration of  “O’s” anniversary and life itself,  here’s a few tidbits shared by a couple of the magazine’s popular columnists.

Martha Beck shares that sometimes it useful to unlearn some lessons, such as:  Working hard leads to success; Success is the opposite of failure; Problems are bad; and, We should think rationally about our decisions.

          Wisdom from Dr. Oz included: Change is possible, but only if you believe it; We regret the actions we don’t take more than the ones we do; and It’s not about living longer, it’s about living better.

            There’s plenty of explanation and more tidbits to be found in the magazine.  If you are so inclined, check it out.  Either way, join the celebration by nurturing an organic relationship, at work or home.  And enjoy the difference.