He didn’t need a two by four. He had me off-balance, head reeling and stomach churning in the utterance of his first few words of feedback. It was evaluation time again. The name of the game was surprises.
I struggled to remember as I tried to recover from the first blow… Something about a project completed 10 months ago. OUCH… surprise No. 2 sends me into oblivion… No hope of responding.
Bosses will tell you they never save all their concerns until the annual review; employees will counter just the opposite. It is one example of workplace communication that doesn’t follow the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. However, bosses aren’t the only ones to break this common sense rule. Surprises send them into head spins all too often as well.
The topic of communication between bosses and employees was popular among blog entries (Execupundit.com) and articles I encountered this week. Everything from the transparency of bosses to the “please understand me” plea from both perspectives.
Not so amazing, the “please understand me” lists were quite similar from both boss and employee. They both ask the other to understand:
n I’m under enormous pressure from others.
n I have to juggle the concerns and interests of a variety of people and departments.
n I am forced to learn by trial and error. I will make mistakes.
n If I do something dumb, please tell me. Don’t hint.
n Please respect my time, I have a job to do.
At first thought, the similarities would give hope that boss and employee could connect on common ground. Closer consideration shows it is the very substance of their pleas that contribute to day-to-day breakdowns.
The combination of pressure from all sides, juggling of interests and learning by trial and error is not the framework from which clear thinking and communication are built. Rather it pushes the door wide open for interpretation and rumor.
In the rush to survive and conquer the day-to-day to-do list, communication is left off, put off and sometimes even forgotten for days and weeks at a time. And for the introverts among us, that suits just fine.
Whether we realize it or not, when communication is decreased, the time spent on creative translation increases. That is, we spend time paying attention to which route the boss takes through the office, who he/she stops to chat with and/or avoids, how much coffee is being consumed, whether the doomsday black jacket is being worn, how many department head meetings are being held, whether that right eye brow is furrowed… and on and on.
Of course it all has significant meaning, or so it is believed. And in all fairness, many times employees are able to accurately read the boss’ actions. For bosses, like all of us humans, have behavior patterns. And their patterns change with their moods; worried and upset doesn’t look the same as happy about a banner month.
The difference between communication and interpretation is in the detail. And when there is no detail…open door, come in worst case scenario. When left to their own translations, employees conjure up the worse. Not because they are pessimists, but rather because they are human.
So in the effort to save some time, in the push to complete the to-do list, efficiency is lost. We all know communication should be at the top of the list, and part of every plan undertaken. And those who do elevate communication to spot of priority see the rewards.
I knew one leader who, as an introvert, did put it at the top. He knew himself, and knew communication would be at the top of his procrastination list if he so allowed. Instead, he had marked on his calendar communication to-dos, with whom and when. Around the building he would go, making dialogue as important as anything else scheduled. It was not just that it was greatly appreciated, real problems and concerns were addressed more quickly.
Many reasons for frequent and informative communication are obvious. Behavioral psychologists have long considered it one of the greatest work motivators and critical to employee morale. For communication generally allows for greater participation and therefore the realization of two pinnacle needs on Maslow’s hierarchy, satisfaction of ego and self-actualization.
Management all too often says people are our most important asset. At the same time, employees repeatedly and emphatically state on climate surveys that ignorance is in no way bliss. So why the disconnect? Oh yeah, that pesky to-do list.
Share your encouraging stories of communication success, as well as those that are all too sadly true. Let’s communicate!