I asked a group of professionals recently about how often they worried. It was no surprise when they indicated it was a regular part of life for them, as was stress. And when asked what great achievements have come from this ongoing commitment to such practices, there was silence.

There were no benefits, rather just the opposite was true. Not only did their worry consume precious time and energy, it literally was sucking some of the life right out of them. It was creating an ongoing state of stress.

As one would guess, these professionals acknowledged without hesitation that they could give themselves a headache if I requested them to do so. Unfortunately when I asked them if they could also rid themselves of a headache, the response was not as quick, confident nor positive.

We’ve all heard that stress is a killer, and so it is, though usually a slow and agonizing one. Biology basics make this clear, in addition to showing how the elimination of stress will not make for a vital life or one of greater well-being. For the absence of stress only gets us to point neutral on the scale of well-being.

Dr. Bruce Lipton, biologist and author of Biology of Belief, explains why. Our body performs two basic functions for survival: growth and protection. Growth involves the replacement of billions of cells everyday. Protection mode sounds the alarm to threats, like stress, activating chemical responses and redirecting energy.

The catch to these basic functions is that the body cannot perform them both simultaneously to an optimal level. That means something’s got to give. And that something is your growth, your maintenance. Threats to our system take priority, leaving us to slowly wear out.

Reality is that we live in a world where we allow stressful situations to be prevalent. Lipton describes this existence as one in the “Get Set” mode. “Our hyper-vigilant lifestyle keeps our body primed for action,” he says, much like that of a runner on the starting line.

When runners are in “Get Set” mode, their bodies release adrenaline that powers their muscles for the race ahead. While waiting for the “Go” signal, the body strains in anticipation. That strain lasts only seconds on the starting line, but if it were prolonged, Lipton explains, the runners would physically collapse within a minute despite their conditioning and toned muscles.

So why do we do this to ourselves? At the root of stress and worry is fear. Much of fear, if we are honest, is what my colleagues and I refer to as False Evidence Appearing Real. It resides in our reflexive subconscious mind, driving our behavior without reason. In other words, our subconscious doesn’t distinguish between a real threat and a false one.

I’ll admit it, I’m afraid of snakes. The level of stress they cause me is something you don’t want to experience. However, intellectually I know that not everyone is afraid of snakes. Some people have them as pets, play with them and wrap them around their bodies. There aren’t a lot of poisonous snakes in Vermont, so my fears are pretty much unfounded.

If you could take a few steps back, truly distance yourself from a worrisome situation, a similar realization might emerge. And at the very least, you, like our professionals mentioned previously, would have to admit conjuring up worry and stress contribute nothing to the desired outcome. Quite the contrary, it’s a waste of your very being, your lifetime.

It’s not an easy habit to break, for we are so good at allowing stress to take over our lives. Even if we did a total life transformation, creating whatever we believe to be the ideal existence and removing all the current sources of stress, we’d find new ones. It’s a mindset we’ve adopted.

The fact is, as so many of my blogs conclude, stress is as much a matter of choice as is our lifestyle. Earl Nightingale so succinctly captures the essence of this choice:

“Like a garden, so grows the mind. It will grow what ever you plant. We are what we think.”

No matter the situation, you can choose to think differently, and in so doing reduce stress. You know this intuitively. Take the next step and practice it.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOs and their teams develop attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.

When we set out on a huge out-of-the-ordinary undertaking, or sometimes when we look back after completion, we almost gasp at what we perceive as the impossibility of it all. Most of us aren’t comfortable with seeing ourselves as great achievers.

At the forefront it may cause us to get stuck. We’ll fixate on the words: How can I get this done? I say “words” and not “question” because we take some time before we make any movement toward developing the answer.

On the backside we simply enter a state of awe. It’s done and we did it, but how we’re not sure. When we mentally retrace our actions, we adopt an attitude that we must have been crazy to have set out on such a venture. We simply can’t remember what gave us the chutzpah to charge ahead, and wonder if we could do it again.

This past week I had e-mails from a couple of former clients reveling in the accomplishment of such ventures. One finished the writing of a book that was due to the publisher by October 1st. The topic is one she speaks to around the world, that of creating a group consciousness for sustainability. It’s more than theory, pointing to projects near and far, some of which she spearheaded.

The other completed a hike of The Long Trail, not just for hiking sake, for she had already done so. This time she walked a more emotional journey, one in memory of her father and in recognition of the disease from which he suffered. She was literally taking steps to educate the world about Parkinson’s and raise funds to aid in discovering a cure.

Peaks for Parkinson’s, as she tagged her endeavor, touched many hearts, involved many lives and connected to many unaware minds. While some literally hit the trail with her for portions of the trek, others traveled along through her blog on Facebook.

Moving from the dream to reality takes a written goal and a plan with which to achieve it. Many people think they can do all their planning in their heads, and maybe they can. However, research has shown that written goals not only get done more often, they also get done more quickly. That allows for more dreams to be realized.

One of the studies that speaks to this began in the 50s. Graduates of the Ivy League schools were asked if they had a plan for life. How many would you guess did? It surprises most to learn it was only 4 percent. The researchers continued to track the graduates for 20 years to determine if having a plan really mattered.

The differences in the lives of the 4 percent compared to the 96 percent were astounding. And those differences pointed to what most of us link to success and happiness. You can quickly see what I’m talking about when you take a look at the cumulative difference between the two groups:

… The cumulative wealth of the 4 percent of graduates with a plan far exceeded the accumulated wealth of the other 96 percent.
… The 4 percent group had a lower divorce rate than the 96 percent group.
… And, the 4 percent group had a larger circle of friends and colleagues than did
the 96 percent group.

You can probably relate to these results by simply thinking about the times you have gone grocery shopping. Ever arrive home without something you needed? How about arriving home with some extra goodies that you hadn’t intended on buying? Doesn’t the degree of those two things happening decrease when you shop with a list? In other words, when you have a shopping plan you are less likely to forget an important item or overindulge in impulse items.

When it comes to achieving dreams, the plans cannot be devoid of the emotion from which the dream was born. Too often planning marches down the logical path as if we’re robots on a mission but without passion. Our emotion goes to the core of motivation or lack of it.

John Goddard got motivated at the early age of 15, thanks to his grandmother. After sitting on the porch listening to his grandmother’s regrets about all the things she didn’t do, he grabbed a pad a paper and listed his goals for life. He came up with 127 things he wanted to do.

It included the mountains he wanted to clime, the rivers he wanted to explore, riding an elephant and a camel, extracting venom from a snake, learning to play Clare de Lune on the piano, learning several languages, reading the classics, the Bible and the Encyclopedia Britannica, as well as being a doctor, missionary and father.

He had accomplished most of them by his mid-40s. And as if that is not impressive enough, you need to know that was only his first list.

Life can be more fulfilling by being intentional and committing plans to paper. You might say it increases the amount of living you do, as opposed to existing. A
little planning goes a long way in stopping your dreams and life from passing you by.

Anita Ancel is President of Ancelary Group, a Vermont firm that helps CEOs and their teams develop the attitudes and habits for ongoing success and happiness.