Tuning into assumptions creates greater clarity
May 24th, 2010You can often hear the assumptions being made if you listen for them in a conversation. Sometimes it’s a comment that will give it away, other times it is the lack of one. Either way, assumptions tell about the people making them.
These conclusions, made in the absence of knowledge, might be made at the conscious level, but frequently are driven by some kind of subconscious belief and can involve being judgmental. This does not imply, however, that there is any ill intent.
When facilitating communication sessions on this topic, I often start off by tripping into the room. A little later, I’ll ask participants if they checked to see what I tripped on or just assumed that I was a klutz. Klutz it is.
We all make assumptions, but we may not always be aware of it, or why we do so. A great illustration of this is the last jury scene from “Twelve Angry Men,” a 1957 movie starring Henry Fonda.
By the last scene there are three guilty votes, down from 11 jurors believing a boy stabbed his father to death. It is 6:15 in the evening and some want to declare a hung jury. Tempers are all too evident. They decide to go through the evidence one more time.
The last holdout switches his vote after a photo of he and his son falls out of his wallet. He loses it, saying something about rotten kids. He, along with all the other jurors, now understands the bias that was driving his perspective.
You’ve probably run into such prejudices. I have. I’m not a car person, but there is one car that I’ve always liked, an Audi TT. I have one. It’s a 2001, silver with the classic lines that are lost on today’s models. It’s a fun car to drive and gets about 33 miles to the gallon. Oh, and I bought it used, as part of my recycling philosophy.
Friends or not, the typical assumption is that I am rich and this is an expensive car. Well, it was cheaper than the used Subaru Outback that I used to drive when I had kids to chauffer. And it was cheaper than most of the cars these assumers buy.
My husband works with some engineers who had a similar experience. They bought an old, inexpensive Jaguar. After losing too many jobs to assumptions that they would be too expensive or were making too much money, they got rid of it.
Now, I don’t think there is anything wrong with buying a new, expensive car. I don’t assume that people who do are greedy, uncaring or self-centered. But sadly, I’ve heard such assumptions.
Sometimes people just can’t help themselves. As was the case with one friend, who, after I quit my job commented, “You must of gotten one heck of a package.” I realized quitting such a job just wasn’t in his realm of possibility.
Another friend said I was able to quit because I had a husband to support me. I kindly told her it wasn’t the first time I had quit a high paying job. The first time I was a single mother with two children still at home.
Remember our subconscious often plays a part in assumptions, while we remain unaware. You can test this for yourself, if you’d like. I’d suggest you try Race Implicit Association Test or IAT at www.implicit.harvard.edu. It measures your subconscious attitudes toward blacks and whites.
Know that you probably have conscious attitudes that will differ from, contradict even, those that show up on the IAT test. Most do. Harvard’s Mahzarin Banaji says if you’ve lived in North America long, you’ve been inundated with images and information that link whites with good things, and will accordingly create a subconscious bias.
You know, you can’t go wrong with making one assumption. I’ll bet you know what it is.
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